Action Cricket Chronicles - fit the 5th

Action Cricket fan’s welcome to your weekly wrap up.

Friday was the scene of yet another exciting game. Once more, our intrepid captain won the toss, and this time, with the lights shining down, decided to field. The team gathered at the top of the wicket, bowed our heads (mostly in prayer) and let the halls ring to the sound of our war-cry: Woes.

The openers stepped out and nervously took up guard; while Fred pawed at the ground and a tiny lick of flame appeared out of his left nostril. Three balls later, the ball shot off the outside edge, bounced off the net and nestled eagerly in my cupped hands. What a start! The first over saw 1 down for just 3. Ruaan took up the challenge, and buoyed by the fire of the first over, struck with his very first ball – running out the non-striker. His final delivery was just as good, beating the attempted walk down the track, and allowing Colin the opportunity to demolish the stumps. Two overs down, and just 4 runs. Brilliant. Kevin and Danie finished off the first pair, gifting a few runs; and allowing a straight four of the last ball of the skin. But still – the first pair had made a miserable 33.

On came a second pair, and young Jeff took up the bowling attack. A straight six off the last ball of his over spoiled the figures slightly; and then it was the turn of yours truly to do battle. Immediately, there were dividends; and some sharp fielding saw the stumps fly with the batsman well short of his ground. Two balls later, and a carbon copy. So 2 wickets in the over, and -1 to the score. Danie finished up his allotted overs next, recovering from a smashed six off his first ball to only give up 14 runs; and then it was the turn of Colin to finish the pair off. 9 runs later, and they trudged back having added another 33.

The next pair were faced with young Darren, and although no wickets fell – he did only concede 9 runs. Kevin entered the attack, and unfortunately, the batters were finding the nets with ease, pinching 10 runs from the over. Jeff took over the challenge, and although the net’s dried up, a huge boundary off the final ball turned the over into a decent one for them; and it was up to young Dazzler, with his final over to try and stem the flood. A straight six of the first ball didn’t help – but he found the perfect line after that, and it eventually paid dividends with an excellent catch taken off the last delivery helping to limit the partnership to just 39.

The final batting pair wandered in (having carelessly misplaced a player) and Colin’s excellent line provided the opportunity for another run out on the 5th delivery. A final ball boundary restored some pride to the batters, and then I once more took up the ball – hoping for a repeat of my first over. It was not to be; and despite a beauty that pegged back off stump on the 5th ball of the over – they snuck 7 more runs, and it was up to Ruaan to stem the flow. 2 balls later, and the stumps were sent flying. A further 2 balls later; and again the furniture was disturbed with the batsman way out of his crease. Fred took up the challenge of closing their innings down; and although no wickets fell – only 11 runs came from the final slog; and with 35 more on the board, the innings was brought to a close.

So 142 was the target – pretty mammoth, and entirely due to lack of penetration with the ball. Could our bats live up to the pressure?

Fred and Kevin walked out with steely determination glittering in their eyes. Risk free cricket is what was produced, and with singles being nudged, nets being found and flawless running; they walked out 4 overs later with ALL wickets intact, and 45 runs on the board. We were off to a flyer!

Unfortunately – I was next up. My batting partner was the young Dazzler, and after a nudged single, it was me to face. A brilliant yorker was produced and the middle stump clattered out of the ground. Bowled first ball – oh the shame. A run out 2 balls later; and the score board had hardly moved by the end of the over. The grove started to come back after that horrendous start, but when the ball edged off the inside half of the bat and landed on my leg stump the rot was too far gone. I managed to haul myself up to an even zero; but if it wasn’t for Dazzle on the other end finding the boundary steadily we would have had very little to take from the partnership. We did manage to add 15 before the torture ended.

Colin and Danie were next up; and their bowlers were tasting success. Wickets tumbled, and so despite numerous boundaries being struck by Colin, the partnership added just 21; and we were up against it.

Ruaan and Jeff made up the final pairing; and with a hopeless task before them, they settled on the brave approach. Hardly any wickets, a steady trickle (rather than a gusher) of runs, 25 for the partnership; and we had crossed over the 100 barrier; but fallen 30 odd short of the target. Kudos must go to the team for the fight they showed, and the fact that we crossed over the century mark. It may have been a loss, but it wasn’t all bad.

Till next time.

A day of concern

We had our 20 week scan today. The twins are enormous, and quite definitely boys. They take after their father. The one twin, the larger of the two, was behaving very well; and being very cooperative. it is amazing what they can do nowadays; the doc spent 30 minutes scanning, measuring, poking and prodding every conceivable part of the baby. All is in perfect health.

Twin two was a little less cooperative; covering his heart with his arm, and moving his head too close to his brother's. It was very trying. On the other hand, almost everything looks perfect. All except the umbilical cord. The doc could only see one artery; which is not a good thing. It could have been bad positioning, or it could be that the twin has SUA. I looked it up. Wiki says that:

It is important to note that a diagnosis of SUA, while anxiety provoking, is in no way a guarantee that a fetus is at risk for other problems in utero or after birth. Especially encouraging are cases in which no other soft markers for congenital abnormalities are visible via ultrasound.

And all the other soft markers looked good. A slightly more reliable source than the wiki confirms most of that: womens-health.co.uk

So, we are booked in to see Professor Ermos Nicolaou, who is the foremost expert in fetal development. That's on April 9. I'm very nervous.

Other than that - we're playing action cricket again this afternoon - so expect another long-winded report soon.

The circle of life

Last night was the monthly book club for the girls. This is a very American ritual, whereby the women all get together to drink and discuss on their respective male companions. So, while this monthly meeting was going on, I invited one of those "respective males" around to bash controllers while trying to get little pixels to do what you want on a PlayStation.

The game of choice is FIFA 08. And while the game may sparkle prettily on the PS3, on my PS2 it is less gorgeous, and downright irritating. 8 games were played in all, and only about 6 goals in open play. Plenty of penalties though - every shoot out I lost - and the occasional result in normal time - all of which were scored by me. The point of this little narrative was really just scene setting. You see, pizza arrived sometime during the festivities, and on the way up my friend spotted a squishy, lethal looking brownish and relatively large eight-legged freak. Now I am marginally arachnophobic; less so since I got married and had to kill the bloody things regardless. And this ugly thing reminded me of the occasion that passed me by some months ago.

I took a load of washing to the machine, opened it up and swore loudly. For in the machine was some brightly coloured clothes, and in my arms was a mighty collection of whites. So I dumped the clothes on the floor, and pulled the smaller grouping of clothes from the washer. Turning back to the first pile, I was horrified to see this brown, squishy, fat spider come wandering out of a trouser leg.

Now the fact that I was carrying these clothes in my arms; or that my wife could have tried to pull the pants on without looking; persuaded me to kill the little menace. I turned around, grabbed some paper towel, turned back to squish it, and leaped a foot backwards in panic. There was no sign of the furry creature. I searched tentatively and in increasing panic for a half hour before conceding defeat.

And now here it was - two or more months later - outside my front door. I reacted bravely, and somewhat evilly, and stomped it into the ground repeatedly. This morning it was being devoured by many tiny ants. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Oh - and the first test between SA and India is looking good - McKenzie and Smith put on 132 for the first, and McKenzie was still going strong when I last looked at the score - nearing his hundred. Looks like this could be a fascinating match up.

Edit: Makkers fell short by 6 runs. Bugger.

Weekend Wrapup

This is a somewhat random post. I'm going to be skipping around a lot, so bear with me ...

First off, I just need to say how disappointed I was about the Liverpool loss to Manchester United on Sunday at Old Trafford. To be honest, Man U deserved the win, Liverpool was playing far to square on the defensive line, and Mascherano acted like a little whiny brat. Doesn't make the loss any less hurtful. I can take a little comfort from the fact that it took the Red Devils almost 50 minutes to score their second despite Liverpool being down to only 10 men. And despite the Liverpool defense being so square. Ah well ... to the triple header against the gunners we go.

That Sunday was full of disappointment. As if the Liverpool loss wasn't enough, Arsenal failed to hold Chelsea. That meant that Man U opened up 6 point lead at the top. The tears would have flowed freely, if the whisky had been stronger ...

Fortunately Monday was a public holiday. I'm so happy that the Romans nailed that man to a tree and then spread chocolate eggs around for all the sad people to eat. It really helped get over the abysmal sporting weekend. I spent the day lounging with my wife. Her tummy is now classified as "really gorgeous and big". In fact I lay last night with my ear pressed firmly against the side of her stomach in the vain hope of hearing the little ones kick or something. In point of fact I did hear something, but it was probably a tomato being digested ... I'm going to delude myself that it was the kicking of one of my sons, it'll help me get over the fact that my wife can feel them and I can't.

I'll do what I want

I was listening to the radio on the way home the other day. The DJ was speaking about traffic fines, particularly speeding fines, and camera speed law enforcement. This one guy calls in and says that he doesn't get fines because he doesn't have his licence plate attached to his car.

Now he seemed very proud of this achievement and with good cause too. It is the sort of thing you like to leave as a legacy. When his grieving family surround the grave, holding a box containing the few bits they could find after a high speed accident, the legend emblazoned on the tombstone will read: "Here lies a man who never paid a fine. His licence plates kept falling off."

He isn't even bucking the trend. As I ride around town in my golf, I see numerous cars that spend so much on the vehicle, and yet have such shoddy glue. Beemers, Mercs, 4x4's and other monstrously expensive rides abound, with not a licence plate among them. Not ALL of these luxury vehicles are in that category. There are plentiful numbers of luxury car drivers who do indeed obey the law.

And don't get me wrong. I don't agree with speed law enforcement in this country. The South African metro police seem to have misunderstood the purpose of speed laws. They are not there to make money. Surprisingly, speed limits are there to try and limit the number of accidents. But it is the principle of obeying the law that I'm concerned with here.

This idiot, with his licence late lying shamefully out of sight, I am positive complains until blue in the face about the lawlessness in the land. Yet he is blatantly, and proudly, breaking those self same laws. This is not some game where you can pick and choose which part applies to you, and which doesn't. The law which states you must not kill each other is on the same document as the one which states you must drive a fully licenced vehicle and display the licence prominently on both front and back of the vehicle at all times. The crimes are not in the same league, but they are both crimes.

I'm not saying that I don't speed. I've done it before. I've been caught. I've paid my fine.

If you break the law, acknowledge it, and make reparations, you are miles ahead of those who break the law and avoid prosecution. Armed robbery was simply the next step in a long line of minor bits of stealing.

Action Cricket Chronicles - fit the 4th

Once more into the breach dear friends!

The third league game, and fourth overall and we still search for our maiden victory. Fear not! South Africa took 12 test matches for their first victory (9 for their first draw). Hope springs eternal!

The one thing we haven’t lost yet is the toss. Once more Ruaan called correctly; and this time chose to field first. The decision seemed an excellent one to begin with. Ettiene steamed in and conceded very few runs, and even managed to pick up a wicket via run out. 1/1 at the end of the first. Good times. Ross took up the mantle, and immediately sent the ball miles outside the off to concede a wide. Three balls later, he overstepped, and so spoiled what was a good looking over, with again only 4 runs coming from the bat. Jeff took the yellowish leatherish ball and proceeded to show Ross exactly what he thought of that overstep, by doing it on his first delivery. He repeated it for good measure with his second, before knuckling down to finish the over with no wickets for 10. Darren limped up to the plate, and bowled a reasonable line, but conceded 13 runs in the over without reward.

Time for a partnership change, and Jeff took up the challenge. This time, the overstepping was not an issue, but 8 runs ensued. The ship was leaking very slowly … Darren limped up again, but this time his line was impeccable, conceding just 2 runs before inducing two catches with his last two deliveries. So 4 runs from the first 2 overs of this partnership … an excellent time to introduce Dano into the attack. 7 runs and one no-ball later, it was the turn of the inimitable JC to restore the spirits. He immediately brought rewards, inducing a catch of his first delivery. 4 balls later, he had his second – stumped. Two partnerships down, and the score on only 46.

The tension was almost palpable, and the captain stepped up to the mark. 14 runs later, including a heave for 4 off the last ball, and the pressure was building on us. Dano stepped up to his mark, and despite a reasonable couple of balls, peppered the leg side twice to end up with none down for 11. The partnership was gaining momentum, and it was left to Danie to try and slow it down. His first ball was smote for a mighty six, and his final delivery smashed for 4, and things were looking black. Ross came back to finish it off, and immediately stifled the flow of runs, his first 3 balls went for just the 1 run. A minor pressure valve opened with a wide, before some attempted sneaky running led to the first and only wicket to fall in the partnership. A leg side delivery opened up the door for an extra ball to be bowled, and it was duly smashed for another boundary, spoiling an otherwise brilliant final over.

The final pair swaggered on, buoyed by the success of the partnership before them. Danie stood at his mark, visualizing the ball hitting stumps. The air crackled with energy. The delivery sizzled into the turf, the bat flashed down, and the ball looped up to be safely pouched. Two balls later, and the memory of that first ball wicket was erased with a smashed four. Not to be outdone, Danie took a wicket with his fourth, before the fifth found the boundary. Despite the two fours, the over cost only a measly 4.

Ruaan stepped up to the plate, and some brilliant fielding earned him his first wicket in the match, off the second ball of the over. The third was smashed straight back for a violent six, before Ruaan found the stumps and sent them flying. His final ball was dismissively sent to the boundary, and young JC walked to his mark. But the magic of his first over was gone. A overstep first up, and thereafter every ball found the netting, and runs leaked. The final over was left to the strike bowler, Ettiene. But once again, the second over of a spell failed the high mark of the first, as a leg side wide, a smashed 4, and a straight six could hardly be erased by the single run out …

A respectable effort despite the third partnership, and a target of 136 greeted the team on their arrival at the crease. JC and Ruaan, leading from the front, took up the first deliveries. The ball was poked into corners, runs taken on a whim, singles flowing like wine; but the boundaries seemed a bridge too far. A solitary four from the blade of Ruaan, and an uncharacteristic double wicket in the last over for JC saw the partnership put on 18. A better start than had come before for us, but hardly the 32 they made first up …

Jeff and Ross took up the reins … The first over saw some electric fielding, and some sloppy running give 3 run outs and a catch for good measure. When the second over saw a run out first ball, lesser teams would have slumped their shoulders and possibly curled up and cried on the floor. But no! a few pushed singles, and a straight driven 4 was the response, and the momentum was back up. One more run out, and one last catch restricted the partnership to 11, 3 shy of their second partnership, and almost 20 runs adrift.

In came the double D’s, Darren and Danie. Great things were expected, and a run out first ball did much to damage the reputation. A catch off the second last ball of the first over erased what little pride had been restored with the imperious four struck by young Dazzler third ball up, and the game was truly on. The feat was replicated in the next over, and, even more impressive, no wickets fell. Runs steadily flowed through the third, and even when the final over produced back to back catches, the partnership was still the best of the innings, and still hugely shy of their massive third partnership, and we were reeling – needing 80 odd from the last pair.

Ettiene and Dano strode to the crease, knowing that a win was near impossible from here. When Dano was bowled off the second delivery he faced, the task became monumental, and when he was bowled again – two balls later, well … The runs flowed slowly, but steadily from the one end, and wickets flowed just as steadily from the other. The big D was stumped off the last ball of the second last over, and Ettiene decided that he better hit some boundaries. He managed just the one, before the final delivery was sent down to Dano, and fittingly shattered the stumps for the third time. 11 had been added, and the game was theirs by 73 runs.

It was, despite being yet another defeat, a great game. And the scoreboard doesn’t do justice to the fight shown by all on the field. It was also immensely enjoyed, and played in excellent spirit. Hang tight – that win is surely just around the corner.

The halfway point

We are at the halfway point. Well, it's only halfway because we're expecting twins. That means that we are scheduled for a c-section at 38 weeks. Of course, that is assuming we make 38 weeks.

So we may, or may not, be halfway. In fact we may be somewhat over halfway. I'll start again ...

We're at 133 days today, and at least halfway to the birth of our twin boys! Champagne all round! Except for the carrier of the twins, who is not allowed to drink. Claudia is looking gorgeous at the moment, with her round tummy sticking out like a convenient shelf. It must be really uncomfortable for women tho'. I think we should reconsider the entire exercise.

It also means I have to seriously start working on the nursery. This poses numerous problems which must be overcome. For I am a pack rat - and I can blame my mother. I am also lazy - for which I can't blame anyone (bugger). And so my study, soon to be the home of squealing twin baby boys, is currently flooded with bits of broken pc, a small deciduous forest of paper, and many widgets of unknown design or purpose. The mountain is mindboggling, and frankly terrifying, and yet - the due date is coming ever closer. The horror overwhelms me.

Besides the terror of this hideous project, I am also staring into the abyss that expenses have eaten into my budget (or would have if I had a budget). Have you ever investigated buying a twin pram? In this dark corner of the world, most shops have many models of singleton prams on display. Twin prams, on the other hand, are in short supply. I'm not sure about you, but I like to fondle the pram lovingly, attempt to break it, fold it and drive it before spending one iota of my jealously guarded cash on it. This is nigh on impossible. Oh for a tactile version of the interwebnets!

Action Cricket Chronicles - fit the 3rd

And this brings us up to date:

The second game of the season was upon us on Friday, the third we have played including the grading game, and the third consecutive loss.

I’m starting to feel a little like Bangladesh here. Once again, we won the toss (as they did); once again we decided to bat first (as they did) and once again we were outplayed (as they were). Oh the misery.

Things started badly. Our intrepid openers, Colin and Danie, walked out full of purpose. The lights glaring harshly down upon them, throwing shadows into sharp relief. And immediately fell into problems. Colin was out first ball. The second wasn’t much better, with the stumps flying backwards potentially damaging their wicky with shrapnel. However, the first injury was Colin, who pulled his hamstring, and was man down by the end of the first over. JC, ever the trooper, walked in to help him out. Wickets continued to fall at regular intervals, Colin hobbled through the first 4 overs, JC ran madly from end to end, and the entire partnership managed to add a nice round 0 by the end of it.

Full of fear (although it was probably the flu more than the fear) I shuffled in, trying manfully to hide behind my partner, Fred. Fortunately, he is broader of shoulder than I, and so they hardly noticed me. Unfortunately, after Fred smote the first ball for a mighty 6, I was on strike. The bowler snorted, harrumphed, angry at being dismissively smashed, and promptly took my wicket out of the ground. I recovered – lacing the next delivery for 4, before promptly being run out. Things were not going well. The fielding was electric, the wickets tumbled, but the partnership somehow reached a positive number. A small positive number – but a positive number none-the-less. We made 5.

Darren, our walking injured, and Ross walked in to face the rampant opposition. Poor JC was again called on to run for young Dazzler, who started positively. Ross provided a perfect foil – pushing ones until the final ball was pitched in the slot and he drove gloriously for 4. An over was complete without a wicket going down! Was there a twist to this tale of woe? No. Although, by far the best partnership of the innings, it was still woefully small at 34.
The final pairing of Ruaan and the, by now exhausted, JC took up the challenge. Wickets didn’t fall quite a regularly as with the first two partnerships, but fall they did, and the runs flowed, rather than gushed. They fought manfully to get us to a competitive total – but 39 from 12 overs was too bad a start to properly recover from, and they added just 24.

With poor JC basically crawling on his wobbling pins, Darren limping in, Colin barely moving on his busted hamstring, and myself snorting and coughing up my lung it was a sorry group of intrepid cricketers that took the field to try and defend the woefully small total. We could only hope that the opposition were as weak with their batting as they were strong on bowling … when the first over conceded 12 runs, the third 17 and fourth 22 we knew that was a vain hope. Not a single wicket fell in the first partnership, and they left in the comfortable position of 57 in 4 overs …

The first wicket came in the second partnership, courtesy of a run out off yours truly … Danie followed suit with two in his first over before the bats fought back, thumping 30 runs from the next two overs, one of which was bowled from a standstill by the hamstrung Colin. The fielding was awful. JC dropped an absolute sitter, numerous throws went so wild that at one stage the bats ran two overthrows, and I dropped two stingers that I really should have held. We were as bad as England against New Zealand, but without the benefit of being in a position of strength. The target was overhauled by the end of the second partnership.

For the remaining eight overs we needed to not only stem the flow of runs, but take numerous wickets, and we failed in both tasks. This despite the brilliant efforts of the untiring Ross, who took a marvelous catch from close quarters, which literally doubled him over, and then a second off his own bowling. By the end of the third partnership, our score had been more than doubled by our opponents, and the final pairing, despite being the weakest of their entire team, hammered home the advantage.

We were outplayed, but the spirits remained good – JC played backstop with little complaint, and still more fire (threatening to bean the opponents with his bullet arm); and Colin kept wicket, despite falling to the ground in agony on every delivery. A win must surely be in the near future. If not – well at least we’re having fun. Sortof.

Action Cricket Chronicles - fit the 2nd

This was the second game (first of the league), and originally written on Friday, 7 March 2008:

Welcome sports’ fans! The season for Action Cricket started off last night, and like the tortoise, it was a very, very, slow start …

Ruaan won the toss for the second time in a row, and perhaps feeling that the decision last time had been poor, reversed it and decided to bat. In walked the intrepid openers, Darren (who had been granted a runner on prior agreement) and Ross. The start was steady, with the first 3 overs yielding 27 runs without loss. The final over of the partnership produced 2 wickets with almost no runs meaning the partnership ended on 25. Darren was the hero, striking 2 fours and numerous singles to end with a personal score of 21 without loss. Ross fared less well, not finding the boundary at all, and ending with two wickets down for a net score of 4.

Without too much fanfare, the second paring of Colin and Jeff walked in to face the (it must be said) medium skill of the opposition bowlers. These two steadily stole runs, and struck one boundary to go with 2 wickets and end on an extremely respectable 27. Honours even, with Colin producing composed 17, and Jeff an slightly more sedate 10.

Then the weak link. The Bun and the Biker. Pleading ignorance of the rules (which I must admit I knew nothing of either) the third ball produced a wicket. Apparently you have to run of the third miss. The Bun promptly missed 3 in a row and was stumped. Kevin and Attila tried to repair the damage, but lost wickets at regular intervals (5 in total) and so only managed 5 for the partnership, all from the bat of the Biker. Bun did better than Dano last time, and managed to offset his wickets with runs to end on a symmetrical zero.

The final paring went in, hoping to repeat the heroics of last time. Not quite as successful (the last time they produced a huge 34 run partnership) but still relatively good with runs coming regularly and only 2 wickets going down, one of which was that pesky third ball stumping. 23 runs the result, very evenly split (12 to JC and 11 to Ruaan) and the final score read a respectable 80.

The opposition openers came in to face the quick fire wrath of Colin, who repaired the minor damage of almost 2 runs every ball with a catch off the last ball of the over and had them 1 for 4. Jeff, the new ball partner, struggled with his line, and conceded 9 runs from his first. JC took up the hunt, and immediately did a Steve Harmison, spraying it around for the first 3, and being clobbered for 6 on the second last ball of the over. Ross was the final bowler, and managed to stem the flood of runs by taking two wickets and conceding very few to end with -2 and with it, their first partnership for 23.

The next partnership was where the game fell apart. Kevin, after overstepping twice was truck for a four, and managed to end with 0/10. Darren took up the assault, and immediately got nailed for two boundaries, ending with 0/15. The Bun was laid into with 3 boundaries including a massive six of the second last ball, and added two leg side wides, just to show he could. And Darren ended a miserable day with the ball by being hammered for 4 boundaries in a row, the first of which was a six – just for good measure. Second partnership over, and no wickets down for 67! At this point, it is likely a lesser team would have collapsed on the floor sobbing like babies. But not us. Oh no – it was more like a heart wrenching sob of anguish dredged up from the bowels of the earth. But they soldiered on. Shoulders were squared, chins jutted forward prominently, and brows knit in concentration.

The third partnership started off with Ruaan bowling a fiery spell and the batters managed just 7 before the Biker burst forth and immediately put his last over to shame by taking 2 wickets for -4. The reeling partnership had the knife dug in deeper by the Bun, who bowled a tight line conceding just 5 runs, before the standout bowler for us, Ross finished off a great bowling performance with a very credible 1 for 5.

However, despite the heroics, the final pair walked in, in the comfortable position of being 27 runs ahead. Colin started them off with a sweet boundary on the second ball, and so managed to concede 13 runs in the first over. JC took some stick with his first ball being struck for 4, before coming back to take a wicket and end with 1 for 7. Jeff managed to get a catch, and it should have been followed by more if Darren didn’t have as bad a time behind the stumps as he had bowling at them, but still Jeff managed to finish with 1 for none. Before Ruaan finished it off tiredly by being struck for a four and a six to end with none for 18.

The match was theirs, by a staggering margin of 64 runs. The team retired, exhausted, and trying to rebuild after a poor start.

Let the games begin!

I originally wrote this on Monday, 25 February 2008. Here it is in all it's glory:

This Friday just past saw the grading game of the Action Cricket team. The game went similarly to the first test for Bangladesh against South Africa. Lots of positives, but ultimately unsuccessful.

The raw numbers paint a bleak picture, with us conceding 84 runs in their 16 overs, and only managing 55 in response.

Things started excellently, with Ruaan winning the toss and electing to field. The pitch was hard, without much chance of breaking up, and had been well swept. Ideal for batting. However, with the relatively inexperienced team at his disposal, Ruaan decided that chasing a target would be much easier than setting one. The slab of concrete wasn’t going to change much between innings either …

The opening pair of the opposition fought through the netting and strode out to the middle, with our war-cry (“Woes”) ringing in their ears. JC – the premier strike bowler – pawed at the ground and set off to bowl his blistering pace. The first over was relatively tight, conceding just 8 runs. His strike partner, the inimitable Jeff, started poorly, with two wides, but then settled down. His fourth delivery produced the first wicket, caught at long off. The remaining overs, bowled by the feisty Fred and randy Ruaan, conceded a further 20 runs between them, and the first batting pair trudged off to a respectable 30.

5th change brought on Dano, who started with 2 no balls, but then bettered the performance with a catch off his third delivery. Danie did a great job holding up an end, with no boundaries off his first. The next over saw myself take up the ball, and bowl 2 no balls. The incredible lack of pace saw the batsman overbalance reaching for the third, and with the ball lodged firmly in our wicky, dazzling Darren’s fat rolls, it was a simple matter to fall on the stumps and get our first stumping. This heroic act complete, he limped to the bowler’s end ready to turn his arm over. 2 run outs later, and the second batting pair trudged off for another 30.

Then things started to change. The next 4 overs saw 4 wickets for 21; and the final four an emphatic 7 wickets for just 3 (final over was an incredible 4 for -9, bowled by Ruaan).

With a final cry of Woes ringing around the stadium, the sides swapped roles, and our opening bats (Jeff and Darren) took the field. A frightening 4 run outs, 1 stumping and 2 catches later, and they were off, limping and sweating buckets. The partnership had managed to put on 14 runs. Things did not get better.

The second pairing of Dano and Fred took to the field and immediately showed the rust. Dano was bowled off the first ball he faced, and stumped 3 balls later. Thereafter, Both Fred and Dano’s bats developed an aversion to the ground and 6 run outs came during the next 3 overs. The partnership wondered off dazed, having added just 2 to the score. Our third intrepid pair wandered in like doomed men on a sinking ship. Myself and Danie did manage to score some runs before Danie was stumped twice in quick succession. I then completely missed a full toss which thundered into my off stump (which the Charlie behind the stumps tried to suggest was actually an inswinging Yorker). Just to prove it wasn’t a fluke I missed another one in the very next over. We finished our allotted 4 overs adding only 5 runs.

The final pairing rescued some blushes, with the most solid partnership of the entire game. Ruaan and JC lost only 1 wicket (Ruaan stumped) and managed to put on 34 runs, including a massive 4 off the flashing blade of JC.

So. Grading game over, and now we wait with baited breath to discover which league we end up in.

The Action Cricket Chronicles

My employer has kindly allowed us to participate in an action cricket league. I must admit that we are just slightly more competitive than completely useless, however - I will be commentating on the games, and will save them here for all prosperity.